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Coco Nuts - The ultimate in mindlessness. You have this guy, cleverly (?) named Stanley I. Presume, who walks back and forth under two palm trees. He's got an umbrella and a hat.

Up in one of the trees is a monkey named Coco. He throws coconuts at you.

Your mission: to guide this stupid guy back and forth under the palm trees and avoid the coconuts that Coco throws. If you lose your umbrella, hat and then get hit in the head, game over. This moron apparently doesn't know enough to go find another tree to walk under. So he just keeps walking aimlessly back and forth, and in an incredible feat of programming, if you don't touch the joystick, he'll walk himself. Ooh.

Eventually, the higher the score you get, the faster Coco throws the damn coconuts. Every so often - before he speeds up - Coco will stop where he is and bounce up and down. The higher score you get, the faster he bounces. I've gotten him to the point where it looks like someone shoved a jackhammer up his ass and turned it on full blast.

And the name even - Coco Nuts. Get it? The monkey throws coconuts at you, and his name is Coco, and he's nuts... get it? See? Get it?

*sigh*

Yes, I actually enjoyed this when I was a kid - I didn't know any better. After all, the good stuff was still YEARS away. That aside, the question here is what the hell is the point of this game?!?

You walk the moron around and try not to get hit with coconuts. That's it. Games like this were responsible for the crash of '84.

Oh yeah... one thing I forgot about was the really stupid look on this moron's face. He just walks around aimlessly, with that stupid grin.

Find a tree without a psycho monkey in it, you moron!